Recognizing when you need a change
When's the right time to quit your job? Only you know the answer to that. What I can tell you, if this is a question you've been asking yourself regularly, the answer is probably that the ideal time has passed. At this point, you're throwing in "good" time and energy after "bad."
There's a lot tied to our jobs. The obvious is the paycheck that keeps our families sheltered and fed. For some of us, it's health insurance that allows us to see the specialists we need to thrive. For some, it's a visa that enables us to stay close to loved ones. For others, it's become the strongest part of our adult identity and we're unsure who we'd be without that particular title or employer.
And, despite these life necessities a job provides us, sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes, there comes a point when we can no longer tolerate the messages we're getting from our body, mind, and heart telling us it's time for change.
When your body is telling you
I've been talking a lot about the concept of biofeedback lately. Being able to tune into an awareness of what our body is trying to tell us, particularly when it's saying it's time to slow down or to make a change.
Are you inexplicably tired all the time?
Do you seem to get sick more often than you used to? Gastro issues?
Do you have nervous habits that have gotten out of hand?
Does your heart race every time you hear a ping from work?
Start to notice when your body is telling you enough is enough. In my case, I distinctly remember being on a flight for a work trip and not being able to unlock my iPhone with my thumbprint. My habit of picking at my cuticles had gotten so bad that the skin on my fingers was no longer recognizably my own. The stress and anxiety had literally changed my body.
When your mind is telling you
84% of workers say their job has contributed to at least one mental health challenge. You're not alone; I'm right there with you. In the last year, U.S. workers reported:
56% experienced burnout
46% experienced depression
40% experienced anxiety
If your mind is telling you it's time for a change, it could look like brain fog and not being able to find the words as quickly as you used to, panic attacks, or insomnia. Don't wait to get help. Many employers offer support through employee assistance programs.
When your heart is telling you
Your heart (or your gut) tends to speak in the in-between moments. In between the silence and frustration. In between the anger and self-doubt. Your heart whispers what your head already knows but doesn't want to admit just yet.
What does your heart whisper to you? Are you willing to listen?
When you know you need to leave but the cost feels high
The reasons why are someone wants to leave a job are as varied as the reasons to stay. Some of the most common ones I hear are toxic work environment due to poor management or leadership, lack of work-life balance, not feeling challenged or able to grow their careers, and not feeling valued or respected. But what stops us from making a change when we feel like it's long overdue?
When I talk to folks who are miserable in their jobs, the conversation usually goes something like this:
"I feel like this job has sucked the life out of me. Waking up every day is a struggle and I panic every Sunday. But, I've put in so much time here (towards retirement, towards a promotion, towards career growth). I know it's not going to change, but maybe if I give it XX more years, it will be better."
Like every directionless undergrad, I took ECON 101 in college. I don't think I got particularly good grades in the class, but the Sunk Cost Fallacy stuck with me. When we look at our careers, we're not investing money, we're investing our time and energy. We want those years we've put into our careers to not be wasted, and for some reason, we can get caught in the cycle of thinking that the only place that investment can pay off is exactly where we feel the most broken.
I was exactly there. I spent five years of my life trying to convince myself that the next assignment, the next manager, the next promotion would be worth it. I knew I needed a change ... but. But, I'd put in eight years towards a full pension and only had 20 more to go. But, I didn't know what else I could do for a living. But, I was afraid of the unknown.
Finally, I said "enough" and put my self-worth and happiness first. The feeling was euphoric. I discovered my fears were unfounded and saw incredible returns on my investment in myself that I would have never realized if I'd stayed.
Now that you know, the next step is finding courage
The first step is tuning into what your body, mind, and heart are telling you. The next step is finding the courage to trust yourself enough to act. It is a monumental achievement to be able to go against this inclination of ours to stay "safe" in a known situation, no matter how much it sucks. If you're looking for the courage to declare you are worth more, I see you and I'm rooting for you.
Later this month, I'm sharing a special edition of Make Work Suck Less, an interview with Amy Porterfield, author of the new book Two Week's Notice. We chat about finding the courage to make change, and real steps to take towards freedom. Stay tuned.
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